Tequila Karaoke

I don’t watch TV. When I was a teenager and left my parents’ home, I took a dozen towels, but a TV was the furthest thing from my mind. When a relative gave me a TV for Christmas, I used it to watch Texas Rangers games — with the TV sound turned off and the radio on. I follow the business of TV much more than the shows and celebrities. So I know why so-called “Reality TV” is so popular... it’s cheap and easy.

So when I heard that ABC was starting up something called “Karaoke Battle USA”, I felt both excitement... and fear. I love Karaoke, and seeing it get more exposure would be great. But the world of Reality TV is so far removed from real life. It’s full of made-up conflict between contestants chosen for their ability to carry the storyline, not for their ability to perform the “real” task before them. Their smiles are as fake as their silicone-enhanced breasts.

By contrast, I love Karaoke because it’s real... really real. Anyone can do it, even me, and there’s no place for chair-throwing, made-for-TV histrionics. Could ABC resist the temptation to turn their new Karaoke reality show into “Survivor: Karaoke”?

The answer... was a resounding “Yes”.

I won’t go into a play-by-play of the Karaoke contestants — you can get that at this TV blogger’s review of the show. I wasn’t really that concerned about winners and losers anyway. I wanted to see if the Karaoke would be the star, and it was.

ABC did an excellent job of combining human-interest background stories with actual performances. The pieces weren’t schmaltzy and tear-jerking, and they didn’t have that terrible mood music that tells you how you’re supposed to feel. Rather, the music behind the between-performance bits was itself Karaoke music, which kept the mood consistent through the two-hour show.

The judges are a big part of the action, of course — that’s been true since The Gong Show and before. ABC did a good job of mixing styles, by choosing an industry insider (Joe Levy), a singer whose songs make good Karaoke (Carnie Wilson of Wilson Phillips), and a past winner of a nationwide Karaoke contest (Brian “Cowboy” Scott). The MC, who actually got relatively little face time, was Joey Fatone, whose picture once adorned every teenage girl’s wall when he was in N*SYNC. Wilson played the diva, with the two other judges relegated to more of a supporting role. But the combination worked, and the producers did great at balancing the judges’ shots with the rest of the show’s content.

The Karaoke, though, was the focus of the show. It was clear that each singer had really spent time on the Karaoke stage, and you could easily build as much of a personal connection with the singer as you could in any Karaoke bar. Even more amazing was that they were able to keep that feeling while shortening the songs by at least two thirds! I’m sure each singer originally sang the full version of each song, but the edited presentation was seamless and unnoticeable unless you were singing along. I’m sure a lot of us were, but anyone who’s waited for their turn after “Sweet Child of Mine” knows the pain of waiting. ABC absolutely made the right choice, and did it well.

Probably one of the best things ABC did is to partner with Karaoke World Championships USA, one of the very few outfits that has successfully managed to organize a nationwide, multi-venue Karaoke contest. Remember when that one outfit was going to have a big contest in Dallas that never materialized? Near as I can tell, they were paying their previous winners from the next city’s venue fees, which was a recipe for disaster. KWCUSA seems to have the business sense to do it right, and the Karaoke sense to do it fun. By hooking up with KWCUSA, ABC avoided looking silly. I recently watched the movie “Duets”, which was supposedly about Karaoke contests but was clearly written by someone who had never attended one. “Karaoke Battle USA” could have made a similar mistake, but didn’t fall into the trap.

The scoring is interesting. There are five separate categories, some of which conflict with each other — a singer who sings right on pitch won’t get many points for originality. This works well, though, because there are many styles of Karaoke, and the goal is to find the most entertaining singer — a subjective judgement.

I liked the final round process, too: the top two male performers had a sing-off, as did the top two female performers. I’ve often wondered what I would do if I made it to a second round, so it was great to see these performers make their choices. Interestingly, both winners chose not to change their style — they brought the same act to a different song with easy confidence. Both losers, by contrast, made a change. The guy toned down the performance aspect, while the lady cranked her “Diva” mode up to 11. Both of them should have just been themselves, and that’s a lesson I’ll take to the Karaoke stage with me.

I’ll also take a song. I hope that I’ll hear a song each week that inspires me to add it to my to-do list. Last week’s addition is “Alone”, by Heart, from the mid-80s. It was the one that Cory sang in the final round when he decided to just focus on the vocals. He ended up making it “pretty”, but I’ve always seen that song as one of desperate desire: “And now it chills me to the bone, how do I get you alone?” It’ll take some quality time with iTunes, but I want to see what I can do with the song.